Archive | February, 2013

Childhood Dream Analysis: The Bouncy House World

22 Feb

This reoccurring dream, from my childhood, is one of the only dreams I can fully remember in detail.

I was kid, maybe 8 or so. I was at a carnival/fair and I was with my family. This family included my parents, my sister, my dad’s brother, his wife, and his kids. We all directed our attention to the bouncy house and we all decided to enter. This bouncy house was no ordinary bouncy house; it was almost a bouncy world. Normal life happened in the bouncy house just as it would outside at the actual fair. I saw bouncy forests in the distance and bouncy shops. As my family and I proceeded on, I saw a bathroom to my left and decided that it would be an opportune time to go. So my uncle stayed back with me as the family went on. There was, randomly, a milkshake stand to the right of the restroom, which my uncle was planning to go to while I was in the bathroom. A few minutes later, as I had come out of the restroom, my uncle was nowhere to be found. He, along with the rest of my family, had left me. I was alone, deserted in a bouncy world confused and lost. It was as if, at that moment, all human beings had disappeared. So, I trekked along down the road, which lead into the bouncy forest. From the road to the forest I had to take a few steps down and as soon as I got down to the forest a clown jumped out at me, hit me with a rubber mallet, and squirted me with one of those plastic flowers. In that moment I feared the position I was in (and actually, I am very surprised that I do not fear clowns to this day). The next thing I knew, I was walking towards and end. The end in sight was a vortex that I jumped out of. The dream was over.

One visible archetype of my dream is “the child.” I was a child at the time when I had this reoccurring dream and I possessed the characters of a child.  I showed the inability to be on my own, the need for support, the need for guidance, and the curiosity to wander.

That simplicity of being child also led to the depths of my unconscious. Thinking back to my abilities as a child, I do not feel that I was able to bring about feelings of my unconscious or recognize them in any way. Whereas today, I might be able to pick out pieces from my inner self that lead to my beliefs, actions, or feelings. Looking back on my dream now, I am able to recognize the exigency that manifested my dream.

In my own unconscious in the state of this dream, I see this abandonment as feelings of being abandoned in my life. This dream was a reoccurring dream I only had when I was on vacation with my family, to visit my family, in Mexico. The problem with my vacations were that I was often left back at the house while my family, the majority being adults, all went out for the night (and sometimes the day). So, because of that, there were many days were I was left by myself and left abandoned. To my conscious self, it never felt like my family was purposefully deserting me. Rooted in my deep emotions though, were lost and lonely feelings.

To relate my dream back to the collective unconscious, I am of the belief that feelings of abandonment are common to a lot of people. Some feelings are surfaced and others are always deeply kept within the inner self. There has to be an instance of abandonment in everyone’s lives, even if it is the smallest thing. In Freudian terms we have the ego, the conscious self, and the id, the unconscious self. Whether or not a person’s ego wants to realize it, their id will harbor the feelings of abandonment for any particular situation. Be it big or small.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s Christian Appeal

16 Feb

The first thing I identified with while reading Martin Luther King Jr.’s Letter From a Birmingham Jail was the Christian appeal. I’m Catholic and personally, the practice of faith and Christian ideals is beyond important to the way I live my life. If anything in his letter were to tug on my heartstrings, it would be that. I found promise in his approach through the Christian foundations he tied in. In my view, Dr. King Jr. spoke out towards the clergymen in the “we are all Christian brothers and sisters” approach. He wasn’t too blatant or too vague. The right amount of urgency was used.

In my own faith practice, I feel that it is my duty to reach out to my Christian brothers and sisters in all my actions. We are all practicing to grow stronger in our faiths, we have one common goal, and I believe that Dr. King Jr.’s purpose was to convey just that. He just wanted his fellow clergymen to understand that his goal was just the same as theirs. He just had plenty more hoops to jump through and desired their support. This is why my Christian heart felt compelled to feel something by his words.

The fact that MLKJ’s purpose was so strongly presented in his word choice and tone of voice was what drew me in. It is a speech in which I feel the power of the words, even though I do not have the opportunity to hear them spoken. Think back to the circumstance that he was in. He was sitting in little jail cell. He was there because he was fighting for what he believed was right. Imagine what it would be like to want something with all of your heart and feel so far from it. The disposition he displayed, and the hope he had, created a steadfast approach that could capture the attention many people.

He took many stories and happenings to relate himself with his target audience, the clergymen, but also many other audiences like the white moderate, religious peoples, parents, and the civil rights movement. As an example, Dr. King Jr. used the wording “your six year old daughter” when speaking of his own, but in that particular moment he reached out to the minds of mothers and fathers everywhere. He made that connection.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. showed many audiences, through his voice and hope for progress, that he was determined to end the suffering of colored people everywhere. He reached out to my Christian heart and the hearts of many others. Like he said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice anywhere.”

Why I Write

4 Feb

To talk about why I write is fairly difficult for me. For the most part, I would say my experience with writing has been limited to class assignments. I have spent a majority of my time writing to fulfill requirements and I find that this gives me an aversion to the idea of writing. Just like in other tasks, if I am spending so much of my time needing to do them for someone else, they become less stimulating. In that sense I tend to lean towards emoting to others that I “hate” writing. Hate though, is a strong word that, in most cases, I use figuratively. After reflecting on this, I realize that there are past experiences I have had which lead to my “hate” of the writing process.

Throughout my schooling, in English and other courses, I have never felt comfortable with my writing abilities. In the past I have taken criticisms much to harshly and that has led me to believe that I am a “bad” writer. In other sorts of experiences I have had in my life, if given criticisms, I would take them as a way to become better at what I am undertaking. With writing experiences, though, I would shut down, feel like a bad writer, feel like the voice I displayed was inadequate, and feel like there was no up from there.

One occasion, senior year of high school, when I was required to write a personal essay is rather thought provoking to me now. This particular assignment was thrilling for me because I decided to write about one of the things I loved most: Disney. So, I put my heart, soul, and much energy into completing that assignment. With a passion like I have for Disney, it felt easy to portray my own character and my own thoughts. After the conclusion of this assignment, I felt satisfied by the work that I had done and with the effort I put into it, it felt worthy of receiving an A grade. When we were eventually returned our grades, I was very disappointed because I did not reach my goal; I received a B. That not only made me feel like my writing skills were poor but that what I had to say wasn’t good enough. That was one particular instance that made me feel lost about all writing assignments, one instance that made me feel like a “bad” writer.

Looking back on that experience (and ones similar to it) now, I have decided that my goal in writing is to take the compliments as confidence and take the criticisms as a chance to learn and become an improved writer. I desire to focus more on transforming criticisms into ways to be better so I can become more successful. In the times I spend experiencing different types and genres of writing, I realize that my voice is what I choose to make it and that everyone has their own voice to portray. The more I harness criticisms in the good sense, the easier it will be for me to feel confident about my voice, my thoughts, and my work. Understanding this now, I can achieve improvement of my abilities.